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Vertigo

by Yoshe Malkus

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1.
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II (Vertigo) 05:55
Haven’t you got it Yet To finally quit feeding The endlessly hungry Body eating spirit That drains All sparks Of life From your inside Out Turn around And do nothing About it Vertigo A quarter Vanishing And nothing happening It was more Quiet now The ceiling creaking Crumbling Somewhat Throbbing dull In sudden realization Gone Morphed Into apnea Virulent whirr Flustered static Translated into imagery Avert concentration Oh Oh no Where did I go And finally broke ‘cause I lost All of my hope It wasn’t so foggy anymore Although the more dustier It wasn’t so bad After all When everything seems far away Substanceless And colours fade To grey Vertigo It was getting dark Outside too Now The clock strikes 3 6 9 p.m. When I got reluctant Out of bed The clock said Go back to sleep After three more quarters sweep Intolerable tolerance Then sudden Uncontrollable turbulence The vision so blurry And sound just a heavy Distorted Drumming Against the walls Of my ears Oh Oh no Where did you go When I needed you the most When I lost All of my hope
3.
A dull, subtle, continuous whistle is to hear, produced potentially by the thin white painted pipes horizontal alongside the left wall, when one would walk in front outside of it backwards against a closed door and the other left, when one would do a three hundred sixty degree circle turn starting in position, facing the opened door on the other side of it, when now shut than in the description beforehand belonging to the with white exfoliating paint covered heater under wooden windowsill under wooden window, both might be white painted, I gamble. When everything turns out as intended, you should now be facing yourself.
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Koto Drone 01:22
8.
A Play 04:00
I try To stay true That did not work With you Sometimes the only way To make certain learn Is to spread my heated sperm I’m gonna play With you Just to show How absurd is what you do To open your eyes To all These lies I hope Now you’ll fucking realize Measure value and success By numbers What a mess Not how deeply a heart you’ve touched Isn’t that fucked They sing Their unventuresome songs For way too long Now is the time For a new dawn I’m gonna play With you Just to show How absurd is what you do To open your eyes To all These lies I hope Now you’re fucking real I’m gonna play With you Just to show How absurd is what you do To open your eyes To all These lies I hope Now you’ll fucking realize And to make you understand I got to speak your language Hence seizing cramps Followed emotional damage I’m gonna play With you Just to show How absurd is what you do To open your eyes To all These lies I hope Now you’re fucking real I’m gonna play With you Just to show How absurd is what you do To open your eyes To all These lies I hope Now you’ll fucking realize
9.
Lay low And sing small Collect stones To build a wall Murder of crows Above They swarm I could run But I can’t hide From it all For I take myself With me Can I forgive My own It was one Of the only things I used to care about Heard a voice On a dead phone More of a chant Than a call A drone A collected fossil Washed ashore A relic of old beauty Long before Gone underground It was one Of the only things I used to care about Now I’m the only Left here With a huge amount of doubt And I’m so fucking over this Scam Yeah, I’m The underground man
10.
Here we go again Playing Another stupid song This goes on For far too long The sound is the same Somebody probably already used the name Are we still playing This game The only escape is to slit our veins I don’t approve Those lazy rhymes Sung by a fool But whatever You don’t seem to mind What is there To lose? Only your life Goodbye Die before you die Let’s escape these lies And I tell you You’ll be fine Well After you hung yourself Up to cry Cry, motherfucker, cry Don’t you see There is no reason Why Jokes aside When you kill yourself Please let me be your guide Here I go Again Singing Another silly verse All this noise Is getting on my nerves Can’t we enjoy A moment of(f) Silence in this world Or does it get uncomfortable To quick To experience Your own Unfiltered Self A bit Yeah, I’m kind of proud To not play A productive part In this destructive farce Though I can’t close my eyes In the night They flicker And twitch These are side effects Of being able to see Through The vertical slit It’s no privilege And I hate to repeat myself Everything is already Thought Said And written But people these days don’t read And never listen Well Good for them Cause It stops me from living For your own Happiness sake Keep your distance To him Good riddance
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It’s calling me Through my waking dreams I can not sleep deep I wonder why I wanted to die A fading sedative A creeping need A lurking fear A fallen angel Listen Oh my dear To the buzzing of the crickets In the thicket Like dripping honey Lick it Life is a wave of sound Up and down When my mind came around But then it’s already gone Way too soon What can I do To come back to you Without losing What I chose Is much more Amusing I’m going to choke on this big joke The white light Shining smoothly I have seen On the verge Of the gate of Two separate realms It soothed my mind A failed arrangement A sudden displacement Always repressing A sentiment distressing Oh, don’t you want to change That draining attempt To escape it On the long run You won’t make it So you better not fake it Dive Into the wall of sound Lay flat on the ground Climb that mount And fall All the way Down Come on, man Goddamn Do it again Lament over one’s fate To be better off dead You’ve seen happier days Don’t worry That will take place This will come about Anyways Everything I touch Breaks Turns To dust A frenzy Of lust A mad love/laugh One more thing Sometimes hard to comprehend Always look Straight ahead
13.
It’s going to continue To do what it does No matter what it takes Rip away it’s tail It still escapes Goodbye But at least we try To capture some light In the deepest night Until eventually we’ll die Goodnight
14.
Pop Stars 08:36
I once wrote a song Easy to sing along Without much effort Hence little essence Four chords That you’ll remember Even when out on a bender It was OK Though not great But who am I to say? A fucking loser Anyway It doesn’t matter Today Forget it It’s no good It was weird though They did not care I thought it was quite fit for theirs Everyone And Everything Can be replaced Especially Your Heart/hard on, mate

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released February 22, 2020

Written and performed by Yoshe Malkus.
Recorded, mixed and mastered by Yoshe Malkus.
Cover art photograph by Yoshe Malkus.
All rights reserved © Misophonia Recordings 2020.

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Yoshe Malkus Berlin, Germany

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